Jealous Dan, omg.
HE’S SO JEALOUS, THOUGH. I LITERALLY CANNOT.
I just love how Dan is so embarrassed when he realises he is being filmed…and Phil’s glare… protective boyfriend alert…
Oh my god look how small Dan looks in this!!!
I know!!! he is so utterly adorable and shy .. Phil looking all protective. oh god it’s just the sweetest thing!
So this is my attempt to tell you who Dan motherfucking Howell is, everybody listen up.
This is Daniel James Howell.
He is currently 21. He is the tallest lesbian ever and he is our little flame prince.
He makes YouTube videos for a living and his videos are the dopest shit ever, he likes to show the whole internetz what a massive fail he is (he fell down an escalator and pretended to be on the phone when he got up again) and tells us what not to do with our lives.
His videos are pretty awesome and his channel is an internet support group for waffly twats like us.
Dan is also really attractive, he won Hottest Lad 2012.
Dan loves videogames (who doesn’t) and is an aggressive gamer who uses expressions like ‘Fucking tits’ when something isn’t going the way he wants it to.
He loves Muse and a variety of other bands and artists and he can play the piano because he’s talented as fuck.
Plus he loves anime and good TV shows and movies, he’s a geek like us.
This is Dan with his flatmate Phil Lester. Dan says that Phil is his biffle.
Phil is turning 26 at the end of January, at least that’s what he says, but we all believe that he is in fact turning 5.
(he’s a precious baby cupcake)
The entire world, even Tyler Oakley,Loads of people think Phil and Dan would be the cutest couple ever, their ship name is Phan, and we’re just waiting for them to have pretty babies.
They say they don’t mind people shipping them and in fact the intellectual property of 80% of all Phanfictions probably go back to Dan but if you’re like ‘PHAN IZ REEL!!11!!1’ anywhere on the internet, a wild Dan will appear and karate-chop your head off.
You will also be called a turnip.
Sometimes Dan falls off chairs.
He gets a haircut once in a while because otherwise his hair turns into the infamous square hair that he hates and everyone makes fun of but we actually all love it and want to stroke it.
(he is an adorable rainbow unicorn)
Some people say he’s gay, some people say he’s bi, some people say he’s straight (said no one ever) but the truth is he’s actually attracted to Maltesers and Delia Smith.
His OTP is Dantesers (Dan/Maltesers), it’s pretty explicit and dirty. He also ships Delian (Dan/Delia) but in a more romantic way.
Dan made the llama hat a thing. It’s in now. Everyone in Milan wears it.
If you own one then you’re part of the Llamarmy.
If you’re subscribed to Dan then that makes you a Danosaur.
If you’re not subscribed to him then that makes you a noob biscuit.
After about 4 days of being part of the internet support group you’re allowed to call him Danyul and post your paused YouTube video screens.
Dan is a grumpy elderly hipster and also the sass master.
One day in your life he will sass at you and it will be the best day of your life.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the sassiest of them all.
It’s important to know that Dan thinks he’s as violent and intimidating as a butterfly on a pink marshmallow.
So you have to realise that 90% of what he says is meant to be sarcastic or ironic or both and that he means no harm.
Unless you’re Phil.
Dan loves having some rave time. Just don’t step on the glass.
Everyone will be raving on January 13 around 7pm UK time as Dan and Phil will start their BBC Radio 1 show that will be every Sunday from then on because they’re just that awesome.
I’d like to tell you more about Danyul, my young Padawan, but that wouldn’t be as fun as finding out about it yourself.
Welcome to a universe full of rainbows, Maltesers, llamas, Nyan cats, Hipster jumpers and placentas (that’s one thing you’ll find out about soon enough).
To end this I’d like you to watch this as it basically sums up everything you ever wanted to know.
This the phandom. in one post.
We’ve been claimed